"You can talk to me any time. I'm having a terrible time with sleep lately, my brain never shuts up so if you want to talk, I'm here." He was aware that he should make tell someone about his sleep issues or his overactive brain, tell-tale signs that he could spiral into mania, but he felt pretty stable in his own way. He understood his own chaos. "I would be your leading man, if you wanted me too. Romantic or otherwise. I always thought being on the big stage would just be the most exciting thing ever."
He couldn't even imagine it, that's how exciting it was. "I used to do show choir, before I came here, and it was so fun. I miss it a lot. Did you ever do anything like that?"
Kurt shook his head. "The show choir at my school barely had anyone in it and the guy in charge is an absolute creep. Pretty sure he's a pervert who touches the boys that join." Which felt so gross to say. "Giving us gays a bad name."
Really was a shame. How was that the best representation there was? "My dad has started talking about it. How I should join somewhere. But he is thinking sports. He is still hoping that I'll wake up and be someone he has to worry about less, you know?"
"Oh yeah, no, I get it. My dad made me fix a car last summer. I know a lot about cars now but it was so boring. My dad just doesn't engage with it or he suggests straight things we can do together." Blaine found it irritating more than upsetting, he was more bothered by his dad ignoring him than taking questionable interest in him.
"It's a shame you don't have any fun teams at your school, I was never fond of playing sports. Though I am in a lot of clubs. Well, was. I haven't been in school now for like... months." He hadn't really been keeping count,. He laughed to himself at how swiftly time seemed to fly. "Most of the clubs were just me though. No one else came."
"My dad owns a tire shop. I know a lot about cars. Does that impress men? Because that's the closest I've come to enjoying it in theory. You know, recasting the Uptown Girl video in my mind." Maybe that was a him thing, but hey. It had always seemed more than just vaguely homoerotic to him.
He listened to Blaine's story and in the end, despite himself, he smiled. A genuine smile, amused and endeared. "I'd have come to your clubs."
"Are you sure?" Blaine asked, looking at Kurt playfully as he tried to imagine if Kurt would have. Some people liked him, some people came to glee with him and maybe did student council but a lot of his clubs were numerous, confusing and often the brainchild of a manic afternoon with nothing to do and approaching anxieties. "Well, I'm going to start a musical X-Men club when I go back so you better be ready to come to that one. You're like my co-producer."
He had pitched the idea, after all. "And glee club is fun too. So is this one club I have where we play DnD." Though he tended to over-invest in his quests. "I love roleplay."
"...roleplay?" Kurt was fairly sure that even his ears must be going red. He was not aware of any meaning of the word roleplay that wasn't sexual. Well. Of course he knew some other meanings, but none that would come to mind right now, none that made sense in this context. He cleared his throat, trying to think of a follow-up question that wouldn't set him up in some way or another.
"Shame we aren't in the same school. Pretty sure I'm the only one gay in mine."
"Yeah, like roleplaying games. Tabletop. I only really play DnD but it's fun. Maybe I can show you some time, when we get out of here. If you still want to hang. I'm from the area so..." There was the option. If he ever got out of this place. He really didn't think he needed to be here but that was hard to persuade his dad of.
"I wasn't. There is... was one other gay guy. I think he transferred." Which was very normal and expected after what had happened to them. "I don't really like my school much. The guys there are jerks and the teachers just act like it's your fault for being gay and causing problems." It was so frustrating but he knew he couldn't win. "What school do you go to?"
Okay. So not sexual games. Why would it have been? Whatever DnD was. Clearly he would have to do some research because if Blaine did it, he wanted to too. Which was pathetic but he was not focusing on that. "I go to McKinley High. I can not recommend it. It's like you say. I never even came out, not officially, but everyone always assumed. They act as if I should have made smarter choices. Be born differently, I guess."
Kurt shrugged. "I'm just hoping to enter puberty one day."
"It's our cross to bear but we can't let others defeat us. I won't, anyway. And I'll try to make sure you won't. As long as we are together." Blaine promised as he reached out and took Kurt's hand in his own, holding it tight. "You have to make me a promise and look, if you can't keep it, I get it but maybe a little low pressure motivation to survive this whole ... mess."
He gestured with his free hand vaguely around, clearly talking about the room and the place, all that they had to handle. "You have to promise that we will sing together on a stage. A proper one. Show choir or a local production or hell, we just break into the auditorium of your school. I don't care."
"I guess our dreams don't count," Kurt joked, while his voice sounded strange. His mouth was dry and here he was, holding on to Blaine's hand. It felt right and also entirely too intense. It was just a hand. It was really nothing. Yet here he was. "Promise," he whispered finally, his eyes on Blaine's lips. Was this when he was supposed to kiss him?
The door opened and that looked like Joaquin's silhouette in the doorway. Sounded like him too, when he sighed. "Guys, come on. What are you doing, Blaine?"
Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away and looked at Joaquin, plastering on his fakest smile. "I can't sleep, neither could Kurt. He's new, I'm just helping him settle." Blaine was not exactly unknown to wander at night, especially when struggling with sleep. Though usually the kids kicked him out or ratted on him. Kurt was chill and he felt if he wanted to kick him out, he would have.
"No one has to know..." Blaine tried, hoping he might be able to get some kind of sway here.
"You wanna get me fired, man?" Joaquin asked, but he sounded relatively chill, given the circumstances. "I realise that neither of you is about to end up pregnant here but I'm still not letting you spend the night. Now get your little butt up and back into your room. If you're good, I'll tell you a good night story."
"No fair," Kurt pouted, but there was some amusement underneath it. He appreciated the lack of homophobic abuse.
"I guess I'm the special one. See you tomorrow, Kurt." Blaine smiled at Kurt and waved at him, reluctant to go but knowing he had to. He didn't like sleeping when he was restless, it just ended up making him frustrated and anxious. He'd rather just stay with Kurt and keep him up all night.
He slowly closed the door to Kurt's place and then turned to Joaquin, pleading. "I could help you out with your work, it's not that late."
"You are insufferable," Joaquin informed him, but he was also waving him along as they walked down the hallway. "Not much work left to do. Make sure everyone is sleeping well, I got done with the last round of meds just now and all that still needs doing is prepping the common room for tomorrow."
Strange thought, this idea that Kevin would be here tomorrow. It did not feel real. "You guys are getting musical therapy. Or whatever he's calling it."
"I think so. Tomorrow and Tuesday. I assume it's going to be boring like last time. Where we weren't allowed to touch the instruments and the music was drowned out by that schizophrenia patient who thought it was a chant to the devil." Blaine complained as he started to walk towards his room, deliberately slow because he was trying to stall out as much time as he could.
"I could help prep the common room. What is it? Like moving chairs and stuff? I can move chairs."
"Yes, moving chairs. I think he wants them on one side, kind of create a stage?" Kevin's email about it had been as detailed as it had been confusing, but he was going to do his very best. "But it will be better than last time."
He had to rep a little for his ex. For the one that he hadn't quite gotten away from. For the one he had never truly meant to escape. "The guy is a students and the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. So he wants to do singing with you. Maybe do a bit of a play? He knows what he is doing."
"They said that about the person who came to teach us how to paint. And that was a mess." Blaine liked the idea, he could sing with Kurt and maybe he could win him over. And a guy from NYADA? That was pretty cool. He could be a future Broadway star! He turned and looked at Joaquin, falling still. "Can I help with set up? I won't tell anyone. Please, Joaquin."
Anything but a long, boring night of nothing while his neighbour snored. "Tire me out, then I'll sleep better! I swear, I promise, I'll sleep so sound."
"Yes, whatever. Come on. You can make it look right. I have to set up the sound system too anyway." Sound system or just making sure that they had any speaker that worked and was going to be up to Kevin's standards. He didn't want Kevin to feel discouraged. "You better be nice to the guy who's coming. He's a professional and I know you have something like talent, so do your best."
That said he unlocked the door to the common room and flicked on the lights, considering how they should go about this. "You can get started on the chairs."
"I'm always nice." Blaine refuted as he came into the room and immediately started moving the chairs around. "You know the guy, don't you? How do you know someone who goes to NYADA?" He didn't mean it in a bad way but Joaquin had questionable tattoos and lived in Ohio, rumour had it that he was in a gang and he didn't seem like the musical sort so how did that friendship come about?
"Did he do musical therapy for you?" That seemed weirdly the most logical conclusion as he moved the tables to the side of the room. "Our OCD friends will not be happy with these changes tomorrow."
"I think sometimes it distracts them from the little things to have a big change to worry over." So maybe he was doing a good thing here. Joaquin glanced at Blaine, trying to decide how honest to be. But then he thought about those two boys shily sitting next to each other on the bed. How lonely they both felt. About the bandages on Kurt's wrists and the sighs he heard from Blaine.
So he admitted, while he tried to find the right cable for the speaker he had gotten out. "He's my ex. We used to date. When I was about your age."
"Really? That's kinda cool." Blaine admitted because this was probably the first gay adult he had met. He wasn't sure if Ed counted, he hadn't really met him and he was super confusing when it came to how, what and how many people he dated. "What's your ex like? I would assume he's a great singer and a good performer. I mean, NYADA is one of the hardest schools to get into for performing arts."
Blaine had heard about it from his guidance counsellor once. "How did you meet?"
"The place we lived... Small town. They had one of those outdoor cinemas set up and I was there with my people. He was there with some girl. He noticed me. I noticed him noticing me. So then we made out against a fence. Then I found out he was the Sheriff's son." What a damn hitch in their beautiful romance. Joaquin snorted now, trying out another cable. Damn it. He would find the one that fit eventually.
"Kevin is amazing. He looks like a movie star and he sings like, I dunno. Fucking good. And he's a good guy. Decent. Has a lot of button-up shirts."
"Kind of sounds like a fun romcom plot. You're a bad boy and he's the son of a sheriff. It's a bit like Grease." Blaine remarked as he finished dragging all the chairs to the front and now he was just lining them up. "I'm really excited to see him sing. I'm excited to get a chance to sing too. I think singing will be really good for Kurt. These first few weeks are critical so you have to give people like Kurt a goal and something to focus on."
Or so he had heard other doctors say and he absorbed everything like a sponge. "You said he's your ex, right? That must suck."
"That's what he told me the second time we met up. That we were like Grease. Then he tried explaining Grease to me." It had been very confusing. Since then Kevin had made him watch the musical and, frankly, it was still mostly confusing. What was with the ending? Whatever.
"Yeah. He's my ex. It was complicated. My-- My boss, back then, he liked it a bit too much that I was with the Sheriff's kid." Things had gotten complicated. Terrifying. Potentially deadly. "I had to leave. But I never lost his number."
"But now you're not with your scary boss, you work here. The boss is a bit of a jerk but he's not really -- you know, a bit of a crook." So there was that. He didn't want to outright state that Joaquin ran with gangsters, cause it was all rumours, but he didn't know how else to phrase the obvious here. "I'm glad you work here. It's a better job than being in a gang."
Blaine didn't know if it paid well but he liked that Joaquin was here. "You're about the only chill guy here. And most people, when they know I can't sleep, I get sedatives. They just give me a headache." Joaquin was different like that. "You're also not homophobic. Now I know why."
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He couldn't even imagine it, that's how exciting it was. "I used to do show choir, before I came here, and it was so fun. I miss it a lot. Did you ever do anything like that?"
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Really was a shame. How was that the best representation there was? "My dad has started talking about it. How I should join somewhere. But he is thinking sports. He is still hoping that I'll wake up and be someone he has to worry about less, you know?"
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"It's a shame you don't have any fun teams at your school, I was never fond of playing sports. Though I am in a lot of clubs. Well, was. I haven't been in school now for like... months." He hadn't really been keeping count,. He laughed to himself at how swiftly time seemed to fly. "Most of the clubs were just me though. No one else came."
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He listened to Blaine's story and in the end, despite himself, he smiled. A genuine smile, amused and endeared. "I'd have come to your clubs."
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He had pitched the idea, after all. "And glee club is fun too. So is this one club I have where we play DnD." Though he tended to over-invest in his quests. "I love roleplay."
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"Shame we aren't in the same school. Pretty sure I'm the only one gay in mine."
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"I wasn't. There is... was one other gay guy. I think he transferred." Which was very normal and expected after what had happened to them. "I don't really like my school much. The guys there are jerks and the teachers just act like it's your fault for being gay and causing problems." It was so frustrating but he knew he couldn't win. "What school do you go to?"
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Kurt shrugged. "I'm just hoping to enter puberty one day."
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He gestured with his free hand vaguely around, clearly talking about the room and the place, all that they had to handle. "You have to promise that we will sing together on a stage. A proper one. Show choir or a local production or hell, we just break into the auditorium of your school. I don't care."
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The door opened and that looked like Joaquin's silhouette in the doorway. Sounded like him too, when he sighed. "Guys, come on. What are you doing, Blaine?"
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"No one has to know..." Blaine tried, hoping he might be able to get some kind of sway here.
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"No fair," Kurt pouted, but there was some amusement underneath it. He appreciated the lack of homophobic abuse.
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He slowly closed the door to Kurt's place and then turned to Joaquin, pleading. "I could help you out with your work, it's not that late."
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Strange thought, this idea that Kevin would be here tomorrow. It did not feel real. "You guys are getting musical therapy. Or whatever he's calling it."
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"I could help prep the common room. What is it? Like moving chairs and stuff? I can move chairs."
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He had to rep a little for his ex. For the one that he hadn't quite gotten away from. For the one he had never truly meant to escape. "The guy is a students and the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. So he wants to do singing with you. Maybe do a bit of a play? He knows what he is doing."
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Anything but a long, boring night of nothing while his neighbour snored. "Tire me out, then I'll sleep better! I swear, I promise, I'll sleep so sound."
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That said he unlocked the door to the common room and flicked on the lights, considering how they should go about this. "You can get started on the chairs."
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"Did he do musical therapy for you?" That seemed weirdly the most logical conclusion as he moved the tables to the side of the room. "Our OCD friends will not be happy with these changes tomorrow."
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So he admitted, while he tried to find the right cable for the speaker he had gotten out. "He's my ex. We used to date. When I was about your age."
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Blaine had heard about it from his guidance counsellor once. "How did you meet?"
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"Kevin is amazing. He looks like a movie star and he sings like, I dunno. Fucking good. And he's a good guy. Decent. Has a lot of button-up shirts."
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Or so he had heard other doctors say and he absorbed everything like a sponge. "You said he's your ex, right? That must suck."
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"Yeah. He's my ex. It was complicated. My-- My boss, back then, he liked it a bit too much that I was with the Sheriff's kid." Things had gotten complicated. Terrifying. Potentially deadly. "I had to leave. But I never lost his number."
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Blaine didn't know if it paid well but he liked that Joaquin was here. "You're about the only chill guy here. And most people, when they know I can't sleep, I get sedatives. They just give me a headache." Joaquin was different like that. "You're also not homophobic. Now I know why."
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