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Whatever this group was, Kurt just knew he didn't want to be there. It was bad enough to do anything here. He missed his dad, his room, his privacy.
He missed having the chance to try again. And he didn't even know himself whether what he wanted to try again was to live or to die.
Which was why Kurt was here, until he could convince the therapists that he wasn't suicidal any more. He couldn't even convince himself yet, so clearly that acting exercise would have to wait.
One on one therapy sessions were draining because he couldn't fake anything right now. Being alone in his room was boring and depressing. He had already read the books he'd with him a thousand times over and obviously he was not allowed scissors in his room for craft projects of any kind. And then there was group.
Group was awful because there were others. They looked at him and they could probably tell just what he was. Pathetic gay boy who'd failed at offing himself. He saw the looks. It didn't feel different from school. Maybe worse, because there was no going home. There were different group activities and all of them sucked as far as Kurt was concerned. Granted, everything sucked to him right now. Had for a long time.
So once he'd entered the room, he tried to find a spot close to the wall, leaving it to the others to find seats. He pulled his oversized shirt tighter around himself and watched to see what people were up to. Ah. Crafting. Maybe they'd let him use the scissors here.
He missed having the chance to try again. And he didn't even know himself whether what he wanted to try again was to live or to die.
Which was why Kurt was here, until he could convince the therapists that he wasn't suicidal any more. He couldn't even convince himself yet, so clearly that acting exercise would have to wait.
One on one therapy sessions were draining because he couldn't fake anything right now. Being alone in his room was boring and depressing. He had already read the books he'd with him a thousand times over and obviously he was not allowed scissors in his room for craft projects of any kind. And then there was group.
Group was awful because there were others. They looked at him and they could probably tell just what he was. Pathetic gay boy who'd failed at offing himself. He saw the looks. It didn't feel different from school. Maybe worse, because there was no going home. There were different group activities and all of them sucked as far as Kurt was concerned. Granted, everything sucked to him right now. Had for a long time.
So once he'd entered the room, he tried to find a spot close to the wall, leaving it to the others to find seats. He pulled his oversized shirt tighter around himself and watched to see what people were up to. Ah. Crafting. Maybe they'd let him use the scissors here.
Blaine loved craft, he'd learned so many in his times bouncing in and out of mental facilities and recreational centres for 'troubled teens'. From yarn to papercraft to felt and origami. He had been working for weeks now on his newest protect with limited tools. Blunter scissors took forever to cut through anything, especially Styrofoam - that he had to specifically request.
And no glue gun was a hitch but he was working well with non-toxic glue. And paper-clips. And honestly a lot of hope and the dullest needle in the world.
Finally, after weeks of work, Blaine lifted up his puppet. His very beautiful puppet. He turned his head to see who he could brag too but the usual suspects didn't care. Most people looked down on his art skills. Rude, frankly.
Blaine looked up and saw a new boy in the corner, raising to his feet and adjusting his puppet. Was it weird to introduce himself with a puppet? Probably. Ah, well, who cared?
They were all mad here.
Moving over to the boy in the corner, he raised the puppet's hand to greet him. "Hi. Are you gonna join us? Cause this is the closest you get to doing anything fun." The puppet gestured towards the crafting table they all had to sit at. "You're new, right?"
And no glue gun was a hitch but he was working well with non-toxic glue. And paper-clips. And honestly a lot of hope and the dullest needle in the world.
Finally, after weeks of work, Blaine lifted up his puppet. His very beautiful puppet. He turned his head to see who he could brag too but the usual suspects didn't care. Most people looked down on his art skills. Rude, frankly.
Blaine looked up and saw a new boy in the corner, raising to his feet and adjusting his puppet. Was it weird to introduce himself with a puppet? Probably. Ah, well, who cared?
They were all mad here.
Moving over to the boy in the corner, he raised the puppet's hand to greet him. "Hi. Are you gonna join us? Cause this is the closest you get to doing anything fun." The puppet gestured towards the crafting table they all had to sit at. "You're new, right?"
"It's not very close to fun, is it?" Kurt addressed the puppet, as the puppet had started the conversation. Which was a fairly silly way to think about it but it seemed a bit easier than actually facing another person. That just never ended well, not lately.
"I'm having fun watching," he lied, badly, before turning his head and actually looking at the boy that had made the puppet. At the most handsome boy he'd ever seen in real life and potentially also beating out his fantasies. What was going on here? Was there a hidden camera? What was this, a trap for suicidal gay teens? "Wow."
He had said that out loud. Oh no. "I'm Kurt."
"I'm having fun watching," he lied, badly, before turning his head and actually looking at the boy that had made the puppet. At the most handsome boy he'd ever seen in real life and potentially also beating out his fantasies. What was going on here? Was there a hidden camera? What was this, a trap for suicidal gay teens? "Wow."
He had said that out loud. Oh no. "I'm Kurt."
"Impressive, isn't it? Especially with no scissors or hot glue. I wanted to make something that wasn't just paper craft and knitting is so slow." Blaine explained excitedly as he raised his own hand and waved at Kurt. "Hey, I'm Blaine. Come on, Kurt, come sit with me. No one else will, they don't get my vision."
And they found him a little too much. Most people did but he thought they were just too miserable to appreciate something more upbeat. Cowards. "They think Sesame Street or something. I was thinking Avenue Q."
And then, because he couldn't help himself, he playfully sang a little from said musical. "Who knew? Fantasies come true. And now I see that what I'd always dreamed of was meant to be. You and me, me and you. Fantasies come true"
And they found him a little too much. Most people did but he thought they were just too miserable to appreciate something more upbeat. Cowards. "They think Sesame Street or something. I was thinking Avenue Q."
And then, because he couldn't help himself, he playfully sang a little from said musical. "Who knew? Fantasies come true. And now I see that what I'd always dreamed of was meant to be. You and me, me and you. Fantasies come true"
Kurt didn't really want to sit with the hottest guy in the world because it seemed antithetical to his current state of being, yet here he was. He sat down next to Blaine and he listened to him sing. Of course he could sing. Of course he knew fairly obscure musicals.
He looked around discreetly. Was he on Hidden Camera or something? What was this, dream boyfriend day at the asylum?
He knew the rest of that song. He couldn't help but blush a little. "You should audition, between the puppetry and your voice, you're bound to get the part."
He looked around discreetly. Was he on Hidden Camera or something? What was this, dream boyfriend day at the asylum?
He knew the rest of that song. He couldn't help but blush a little. "You should audition, between the puppetry and your voice, you're bound to get the part."
"I don't think the musical scene takes crazies like me. Not yet." Blaine shook his head and removed the puppet from his hand, setting it down next to him. He leaned over the table, grabbing a handful of stuff and setting it down between himself and Kurt. Then he handed him the awful blunt scissors. "That's fine. The art revolution is coming. Look at Lady Gaga. I mean, she wore a dress made of meat and she's doing just fine. I think this might finally be my year."
He was joking. Mostly. He saw the world expanding, opening it's mind, but he would always be too odd for the mainstream. Like his brother.
Sliding along some crazy-proof glue, he spread out the different kinds of craft paper. "Okay, so, free art time is very fun. Trust me, best part of your week. So let's be creative. You make me something, I make you something. We have paper, bad scissors and non-toxic glue - go nuts." Blaine laughed and then nudged his shoulder against Kurt's. "Probably not the best wording."
He was joking. Mostly. He saw the world expanding, opening it's mind, but he would always be too odd for the mainstream. Like his brother.
Sliding along some crazy-proof glue, he spread out the different kinds of craft paper. "Okay, so, free art time is very fun. Trust me, best part of your week. So let's be creative. You make me something, I make you something. We have paper, bad scissors and non-toxic glue - go nuts." Blaine laughed and then nudged his shoulder against Kurt's. "Probably not the best wording."
"I'm not as crafty as you. Judging by that puppet." Because that was a beautiful piece of work, especially given the obvious limitations here. "Maybe if they had a sewing machine."
He did miss getting to be properly creative with clothes. He barely had enough here and his dad had not packed right. Not that he blamed him, of course. Still. "Who did you base that puppet on?"
He assumed there had to be some kind of inspiration. And he did grab a piece of craft paper and a pencil, mostly to not be pestered further. He wondered, idly, just how insane Blaine was. Who knew, in here? Kurt wasn't even sure how insane he was himself.
He did miss getting to be properly creative with clothes. He barely had enough here and his dad had not packed right. Not that he blamed him, of course. Still. "Who did you base that puppet on?"
He assumed there had to be some kind of inspiration. And he did grab a piece of craft paper and a pencil, mostly to not be pestered further. He wondered, idly, just how insane Blaine was. Who knew, in here? Kurt wasn't even sure how insane he was himself.
"It's strange because I didn't base him on anyone but I kind of feel like he ended up looking a bit like my older brother. I think he didn't until I made the green tux and suddenly, there it was." Blaine said, slightly weirded out by that too but here they were. His brother was a good performer, he could have made a worse person into a puppet. "Mostly, it's just a random puppet. I wanted to challenge myself."
And it had certainly been a challenge.
Blaine started folding the paper carefully, trying to make something for Kurt. "They cater to the slowest and worst, not the best and the fastest so it's easy to get bored here." Most people here were too cool to do art, too anxious or on sedatives.
And it had certainly been a challenge.
Blaine started folding the paper carefully, trying to make something for Kurt. "They cater to the slowest and worst, not the best and the fastest so it's easy to get bored here." Most people here were too cool to do art, too anxious or on sedatives.
"I'm unclear how that is supposed to make anyone improve." Maybe that wasn't the goal here. Maybe it was just a place to put them and forget about them until they learned to be less of a problem. Kurt shook his head while he sketched the outline of a dress. Easier than puppeteering. "They do not have enough felt here to make a puppet of my brother. He's a giant."
Finn, who was needlessly tall and who felt responsible and guilty in a way that Kurt didn't know how to deal with. Not that he knew how to deal with anyone right now.
Finn, who was needlessly tall and who felt responsible and guilty in a way that Kurt didn't know how to deal with. Not that he knew how to deal with anyone right now.
"I don't know if there is a goal here or what it is but I'm not exactly having a bad time. Not a great time. Like mid. Aggressively mid." Blaine admitted as he kept folding up his paper, knowing what he wanted to make and give to Kurt. They were being creative, after all, so he wanted to give him a welcome gift.
"Tomorrow is group therapy but if you say you're too anxious, they'll probably let you skip. You're still new. If you don't want to, anyway. Then we have Friday, which is 'free roam'. Which means we can go in the garden if there's enough staff. Saturday is for visiting, Sunday is movie night." Blaine explained, just filling Kurt in on what's ahead of him. "I'm petitioning for them to play something more modern but it looks like we're watching Mrs Doubtfire. A classic but, like, you know, old school."
"Tomorrow is group therapy but if you say you're too anxious, they'll probably let you skip. You're still new. If you don't want to, anyway. Then we have Friday, which is 'free roam'. Which means we can go in the garden if there's enough staff. Saturday is for visiting, Sunday is movie night." Blaine explained, just filling Kurt in on what's ahead of him. "I'm petitioning for them to play something more modern but it looks like we're watching Mrs Doubtfire. A classic but, like, you know, old school."
"It's always such a thing, isn't it? It's a classic and I don't believe it was intentionally transphobic but it does showcase the inherent transphobia ingrained in our society, as well as an unhealthy helping of misogyny and homophobia." Kurt doubted he was about to make friends with talk like that, so he simply shrugged. "I think it's a good movie and there's no ill intent but a lot of the audience will always be made up of people who just like to laugh at a guy in a dress and I find that is not the kind of movie I want to watch in a group setting."
He could get homophobia and transphobia any day of the week without help. "Saturday is for visiting? I wonder if my brother will come. I know my dad will." He wondered whether visits were at all restricted. "I don't know if visitors are worse or therapy. Or movie night with this bunch."
Really just great choices all around. He finished designing his dress and then started drawing the doll to put it on.
He could get homophobia and transphobia any day of the week without help. "Saturday is for visiting? I wonder if my brother will come. I know my dad will." He wondered whether visits were at all restricted. "I don't know if visitors are worse or therapy. Or movie night with this bunch."
Really just great choices all around. He finished designing his dress and then started drawing the doll to put it on.
"And a lot of people just don't think about it on that level. Hence why it's on the approved list. I was aggressively suggesting Moulin Rouge but apparently it's too depressing and distressing. Which, fair, but come on." He missed watching musicals but that wasn't much of an option when his media consumption was controlled. "You'll make it through. You can sit with me while we watch it and dissect where it goes wrong. No homophobia. No transphobia."
He could promise that. He set a little origami dinosaur down in front of Kurt. It was a T-Rex with little arms and everything. "I only really get visitors when my brother is in town. My parents are like crazy busy." And his dad just didn't want him near his mom or at home. "But this Saturday, his band is playing in Chicago so I'm planning to use the day to catch up on sleep."
He could promise that. He set a little origami dinosaur down in front of Kurt. It was a T-Rex with little arms and everything. "I only really get visitors when my brother is in town. My parents are like crazy busy." And his dad just didn't want him near his mom or at home. "But this Saturday, his band is playing in Chicago so I'm planning to use the day to catch up on sleep."
"Wow, your brother has a band?" A band that played in Chicago. That was pretty amazing, no matter how successful he was overall. "If he's anywhere near as talented and handsome as you, I'm sure I'd be a fan."
Had he just said that? Kurt tried to ignore how much he was blushing, instead focusing on the origami dinosaur in front of him. "Aww, he's adorable. You should call him Marc."
Seemed only fitting.
Had he just said that? Kurt tried to ignore how much he was blushing, instead focusing on the origami dinosaur in front of him. "Aww, he's adorable. You should call him Marc."
Seemed only fitting.
"People do say we look very alike." Blaine agreed, blushing a little. Did Kurt just call him handsome? That was so sweet. Though he wasn't sure he was that talented. "He handles himself better than me at the very least. Might be because his not-boyfriend but definitely boyfriend is a psychiatrist." Free meds and someone who could see his warning signs.
"Marc? Sure. Call him whatever you want, I made him for you. That way you can't get lonely while you're here."
He smiled at Kurt and reached out to fold more paper while he had time. "Which floor are you on?"
"Marc? Sure. Call him whatever you want, I made him for you. That way you can't get lonely while you're here."
He smiled at Kurt and reached out to fold more paper while he had time. "Which floor are you on?"
"Yes, Marc. Like Marc Bolan. T.Rex." It occurred to Kurt - as so often belatedly - that not everyone had the same references as him and he might just be sounding insane to Blaine right now. Well. At least they were in the right place. "I'm on the fourth floor. And... thank you."
He pulled the little dinosaur a little closer just then, looking at Blaine with a shy smile. His brother had a boyfriend. Or a situationship, anyway. So maybe he was gay too? Was that a possibility? Why did that make his heart beat so fast? Why was this the first thing he wasn't numb to?
"Thanks a lot. I mean it."
He pulled the little dinosaur a little closer just then, looking at Blaine with a shy smile. His brother had a boyfriend. Or a situationship, anyway. So maybe he was gay too? Was that a possibility? Why did that make his heart beat so fast? Why was this the first thing he wasn't numb to?
"Thanks a lot. I mean it."
"I'm fourth too. That's so cool. I'm room 14, if you ever want to hang. When we're allowed to, of course." Blaine promised with a small smile, excited to have someone his age that he could talk to. Someone who got his references and didn't seem to find him annoying. Maybe he just had to be careful and he could actually have a friend for the first time in a long time.
He seemed to push everyone away from him all the time but he could still try. Nothing said he had to be alone.
"If you ever want to borrow some books. Or some comics. I mostly have comics." He wasn't exactly a high lit sort of guy. "But I have some Goosebumps, if you want to freak yourself out a bit."
He seemed to push everyone away from him all the time but he could still try. Nothing said he had to be alone.
"If you ever want to borrow some books. Or some comics. I mostly have comics." He wasn't exactly a high lit sort of guy. "But I have some Goosebumps, if you want to freak yourself out a bit."
"I might have freaked myself out enough for a year, but who knows." Maybe that was just what he needed. "I mostly have the Patti LuPone biography and a couple of books my brother and dad thought I'd want to read. I really wish they'd consulted my step-mother, but apparently she was busy finding the right protein bars."
He didn't blame anyone involved, it had just led to some very strange reading material. "I have a couple of bodice rippers. So, if you ever wanted to be seduces by a duke, come to my room. It's 18."
Wait. "I mean, the books. You can borrow the books. Not that I am a duke."
He didn't blame anyone involved, it had just led to some very strange reading material. "I have a couple of bodice rippers. So, if you ever wanted to be seduces by a duke, come to my room. It's 18."
Wait. "I mean, the books. You can borrow the books. Not that I am a duke."
"You're not?" Blaine mock gasped and put his hand on his heart. "You led me on!" He playfully slapped Kurt's arm, making sure it was very friendly because the guards looked over. He tended to have a bit of a volume problem sometimes. He put his arm around Kurt with a smile. "Sorry, I tease sometimes. I can't help it. No one seems to have a good sense of humour."
But he already liked Kurt a lot. He was funny, he seemed smart and he had a strong queer energy that made Blaine immediately feel safer to be around. Kurt had to be gay, right?
"I'll trade you a pretty good X-Men comic for a seductive duke. Or Patti LuPone, honestly."
But he already liked Kurt a lot. He was funny, he seemed smart and he had a strong queer energy that made Blaine immediately feel safer to be around. Kurt had to be gay, right?
"I'll trade you a pretty good X-Men comic for a seductive duke. Or Patti LuPone, honestly."
"I'm a lot less willing to part with her than with any of the dukes. They all have questionable conduct, honestly. And implausibly well defined abs, going by the covers." Kurt wondered whether Finn or his dad had been the one to pick them and he honestly wasn't even sure whether he wanted to know the answer.
He also wanted to know how he was to react to the devastatingly handsome boy so casually putting an arm around him. What was happening? His heart could not be safe around him. He wasn't even sure whether he wanted Blaine to be gay or not, which one would be worse? "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Was quoting Casa Blanca too ...something? Probably.
He also wanted to know how he was to react to the devastatingly handsome boy so casually putting an arm around him. What was happening? His heart could not be safe around him. He wasn't even sure whether he wanted Blaine to be gay or not, which one would be worse? "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Was quoting Casa Blanca too ...something? Probably.
"Well, I'm no Ilsa but I promise you, you won't be bored with me." Blaine was pretty excited, he was hoping he could maintain this friendship without freaking Kurt out. Or maybe Kurt was just more adaptable and open, given their shared circumstances.
Either way, he was excited. "It's gonna be a good year, Kurt. I can feel it."
Either way, he was excited. "It's gonna be a good year, Kurt. I can feel it."
good, still think your school has a silly name
did you figure out your final project?
did you figure out your final project?
broadway would be lucky to have you, papi
wow... pivot, devious, you using all them SAT words to show off?
what are your devious reasons?
wow... pivot, devious, you using all them SAT words to show off?
what are your devious reasons?
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