it's nyc party time

[kurtsy]

Comments

[boylikethat]

That sounds like a lot of stuff.

I think I have to hit up that Jesse guy, he wanted me to audition. Maybe I can get a job or something.

I'm gonna lose my place so money would be good.

And if not job, I think we'd have amazing sex.

[kurtsy]

I think Jesse is straight

although Tina did say he was hot the other night

anyway, I know he's got contacts, he's one of the hot up and coming people on Broadway

[boylikethat]

He's not straight. I don't buy it.

Hopefully I impressed enough.

Cause honestly, I feel like I made a mistake. I poked the hornet's nest

[kurtsy]

I'm sorry, you don't deserve this

the best thing about you is that you're open about being gay

even if you show some self-hating gay tendencies

[boylikethat]

I think I deserve it a little.

You can admit it, it's fine.

I'm gay and I always told them, I guess it just didn't register as something that had to change their plans.


I miss my dad

[kurtsy]

I don't think anyone deserves that

it's awful

they have you, you are alive and well, but they choose not to be there for you

I hate that

[boylikethat]

I talk to him every day.

It's weird.

My mom thinks I could consider going for treatment. It's like a spa or whatever.

It's not a spa though, is it?

[kurtsy]

no, it's not

those places are torture, trying to brainwash you into denying who you are

my dad used to get pamphlets for them sent to our house

[boylikethat]

Shit.

I'm sorry, man.

Your dad seems cool.

This is weird. I don't know why I'm telling you.

It seemed weirder to tell Blaine. I don't know. He'd be all sweet.

I was hoping you'd be more of a dick

[kurtsy]

if you want someone to be a dick to you about this, I'm sure I can find you the numbers of some homophobic pricks

although I can tell you that you seemed like you hated what you studied and were an idiot for ever wanting to fit in with people like that

[boylikethat]

They SUCKED

I hated it. I hated all of it.

It's kind of looking at a horrible preppy mirror but like the evil mirror world version of my life.

Someone was against women's rights to wear pants in my group chat.

[kurtsy]

see, they'd be ready to hate on you if you told them any of this

and if they knew you are gay and they never hated you to your face, they hated you behind your back

[boylikethat]

Oh, they knew. I'm sure they did.

You know Hartley and the whole deaf thing...

Do you know sign language?

[kurtsy]

I know some... I was in a production he did for deaf kids, so I remember some of that

why do you ask?

[boylikethat]

How do you learn?

Like classes? Anywhere free?

[kurtsy]

there's free classes online and there are also classes taught for free in some rec centres and other places

Hartley knows more about that

do you like him that much?

[boylikethat]

Yeah.

He's special.

I want to sign a song for him.

[kurtsy]

that's so sweet

I bet he'll love it

he loves music a lot, Axel thinks that's half the reason he is grumpy

[boylikethat]

He was sad that he couldn't hear me sing.

He taught me the song title.

Y'know, he composes so well for someone who is deaf

I don't get it.

[kurtsy]

have you ever done any music theory, any composition?

I've tried my hand at it a little bit (I suck, btw)

but you kind of hear the music in your head

and he was a prodigy... there's recordings of him performing when he was four

very Mozart

[boylikethat]

Nah, never did music theory but it's interesting.

I guess it makes sense if you know the notes and what you want to make.

He's so talented. Blows my mind.

Makes me kind of feel like a shitty person

There was a deaf choir at one of the sectionals once and I laughed so hard.

Like super hard.

It was AWFUL

[kurtsy]

empathy is a skill, you know? you can learn that for free too

and you are learning

I know you were put off by Hartley being deaf first time you met him, when him and Axel signed

[boylikethat]

It looked super silly and I had no idea what it was.

I guess my first instinct is to laugh at things I don't get.

I feel bad. It's weird. Like my stomach hurts and I'm unhappy when I think back???

So weird.

[kurtsy]

yes, Sebastian, that is called a bad conscience

you are learning, you'll get there yet

are you in love with Hartley? can I ask that?

[boylikethat]

Huh.

Why'd you ask?