"Uh. Yes." It was hard to think, Kurt had soft hands. The hand was arm too, as he waited for Kurt to shake it or something but no, he just kept holding it. His heart was fluttering and he stared at Kurt, looking into his eyes. Oh no. He was falling. Falling for a guy he'd probably only see in person once more. Life sucked.
"I'll put them aside for you." He smiled awkwardly and no, he didn't want to pull his hand away, even though he knew that was the smart love. He just didn't often get this. Touch. Holding hands. Sure, he did it with Sam and Tina but it was different.
Kurt wasn't sure what the acceptable time for handholding was when he had a distinct feeling that it was really no time whatsoever. But Blaine wasn't pulling away and neither was he, so here they were. Past the acceptable time and strictly in awkward or potentially in dangerous territory. He couldn't have a crush on some guy he didn't even know. He wasn't in high school any more.
"Yeah, I do. I drink it a lot, actually. Sometimes too much." He found it was calming for him to pound a couple of a day and also what the hell was happening? Was he being asked out to coffee or was he just asking to get to know more about comics and why were they still holding hands? They were holding hands. Oh no. He lost his nerve and let go of Kurt, assuming he was the weirdo not letting go from the hot guy's hand and it was starting to make him look weird.
"Do you? Like coffee." Well, duh, obviously. Why else would he ask?
"Yes. Mostly latte. Soy or almond milk." That was so not what he wanted, a coffee conversation. But given the guy had just let go of his hand, belatedly, as if he had stung him, Kurt assumed that the derailing into discussing coffee as a concept was Blaine turning him down gently. Presumably he was taken or just not interested. Fine, he could handle rejection.
Eventually the Earth would move for him again without Blaine holding his hand. Even if that was difficult to imagine right now. "I'll be by around fiveish." He turned around and waved over his shoulder, awkwardly, he was sure. "Thanks so much for your help."
With that he got out the door and Sam came up behind Blaine, providing commentary. "You threw that game at the closer, huh?"
"I pulled away. I panicked. I blew it. I did, didn't I? I blew it."
Blaine groaned and watched Kurt move passed the window with longing before he promptly covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. "I thought I was being creepy cause I was holding his hand and I wanted to ask if he wanted and -- and what the hell? I put him off! I didn't mean to, I -- coffee?! Does he like coffee? He asked! Of course he does!"
How the hell did he always manage to do that? He sighed and then flopped down dramatically onto the floor of his very open comic book store, hiding half under the DC merch display. "Leave me here to die. I'm a lost cause."
"If you want to play dead for long you should do it over by the horror comics. I could use some ketchup and make a great display." He had ideas for that. Sam glanced in the direction of where the gay guy had just walked off to, wondering what encouraging thing he could say to Blaine. "Look, he's coming back, right? You've just gotta go for it, man. Like when I want a girl to know I'm into her, I talk about her boobs. Stare at them. Kinda does the trick usually."
"One, he doesn't have boobs. Two, if I start staring at any part of him, I won't be able to stop. Fact. He's stunning. Did you see his arms? And his eyes, oh, his eyes. They're beautiful." He was so deeply, utterly embarrassed and straight frat boy help was not what he needed. He slowly sat up and stared at Sam with puppy dog eyes. "I think I just met my soulmate and I blew it. Complete buffoonery."
He put his head in his hands now, wondering what he could do. "I didn't expect him to be asking me out. I mean, what if it was just a work thing and the only reason that all happened is because I was holding his hand and not shaking it?! I don't want to strike out either."
Why did dating have to be hard? "I hate taking chances and dating is hard and I don't even wanna so..."
"I mean, he took your hand and he asked about coffee. Do gay guys not use coffee? Like, I hate coffee, but when I wanna ask out a girl, I ask her for coffee." Then he drank hot chocolate because coffee was bitter and sad disappointment, but whatever. "I didn't see his arms. Or his eyes. But I also didn't hold his hand for a minute, so."
He assumed he had missed some details. "You are hot too, Blaine! I mean, I know you are straight hot, I bet you are gay hot too. So just ask him out! What's the worst that could happen?"
"We go out for coffee and he thinks I'm a total dork and I remain a dateless wonder for the rest of my life, knowing I couldn't even make it work with the guy who makes my heart beat like this." Blaine said, thinking before he frowned and then shook his head. "Actually, no, the worst is if I just die of embarrassment. He works at vogue and he felt the need to explain to me it's about fashion. Did you see how he looked at me? He hates how I dress. We're doomed on that alone."
The pessimistic spiral was one that Blaine fell into often. He couldn't help it, he was just having a dry spell. Of forever. And he had no idea what to do about it. "I just... liked him."
"I mean, he works at whatever you say but he didn't know X-Men, so..." Who was the loser now? Sam didn't really have any degree of shame or insecurity in this regard so it was difficult to relate to Blaine entirely. "If he spends any time with you, he's gonna love you. You're Blaine! You're awesome, man. And you are the most fashionable guy I know."
It wasn't saying much, but still. "Anyway, maybe he just wants you without your clothes. People like that best with me."
"Oh God, that's a whole different nightmare." He didn't really like the idea of guys judging his naked body, he preferred anonymous porn sites where no one could see him and he could have his way with whatever fantasy took over. Gays in the club were always fit and in shape, all hot and sexy. And none of them ever talked comics with him. Probably because no one wanted to talk comics in a gay club.
"Thanks though, you're a good friend." Blaine got himself back up and then came to Sam, putting his head against his best friend's shoulder with a small pout. "Just don't get married and ditch me before I have someone, okay?"
"Nah, never. We'd all have to get married together." However that worked in Sam's mind, he was content with the thought. "Tina can join us. Don't think she'd give us a choice."
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"I'll put them aside for you." He smiled awkwardly and no, he didn't want to pull his hand away, even though he knew that was the smart love. He just didn't often get this. Touch. Holding hands. Sure, he did it with Sam and Tina but it was different.
This felt special.
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"Do you drink coffee?" Smooth.
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"Do you? Like coffee." Well, duh, obviously. Why else would he ask?
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Eventually the Earth would move for him again without Blaine holding his hand. Even if that was difficult to imagine right now. "I'll be by around fiveish." He turned around and waved over his shoulder, awkwardly, he was sure. "Thanks so much for your help."
With that he got out the door and Sam came up behind Blaine, providing commentary. "You threw that game at the closer, huh?"
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Blaine groaned and watched Kurt move passed the window with longing before he promptly covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. "I thought I was being creepy cause I was holding his hand and I wanted to ask if he wanted and -- and what the hell? I put him off! I didn't mean to, I -- coffee?! Does he like coffee? He asked! Of course he does!"
How the hell did he always manage to do that? He sighed and then flopped down dramatically onto the floor of his very open comic book store, hiding half under the DC merch display. "Leave me here to die. I'm a lost cause."
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He put his head in his hands now, wondering what he could do. "I didn't expect him to be asking me out. I mean, what if it was just a work thing and the only reason that all happened is because I was holding his hand and not shaking it?! I don't want to strike out either."
Why did dating have to be hard? "I hate taking chances and dating is hard and I don't even wanna so..."
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He assumed he had missed some details. "You are hot too, Blaine! I mean, I know you are straight hot, I bet you are gay hot too. So just ask him out! What's the worst that could happen?"
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The pessimistic spiral was one that Blaine fell into often. He couldn't help it, he was just having a dry spell. Of forever. And he had no idea what to do about it. "I just... liked him."
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It wasn't saying much, but still. "Anyway, maybe he just wants you without your clothes. People like that best with me."
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"Thanks though, you're a good friend." Blaine got himself back up and then came to Sam, putting his head against his best friend's shoulder with a small pout. "Just don't get married and ditch me before I have someone, okay?"
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