"That is never on you, Blaine, there is never an excuse..." Kurt couldn't believe he even had to say this. How difficult would it be to track down this damn Mormon church and just how controversial would it really be to murder that Dallen guy in cold blood? He imagined if he put it to a vote in their group chat, it'd be unanimous and also Dallen would be up not just against him but a whole army.
Still, he knew that storming out of her was not the constructive thing to do. So he had to keep it together. "Please leave him. Not because I want you back, although I do. Not because I am jealous, although I am. But because he's hurting you. Please, Blaine."
Of course he knew, he wasn't an idiot. He knew it wasn't okay, he knew he was scared of Dallen and he knew that he didn't like anything in his life right now. "It just kept getting worse. At first, it was just little things but now he keeps my phone when he goes to work and he checked it all the time. And I can't do my job or see my friends and I don't even know how it happened, Kurt." It was fine and yeah, there were so red flags but it was never like that. And yet, as he spoke, he felt such guilt and immediately, he had to backtrack. "Maybe I'm being melodramatic. I'm just ... I'm playing the victim. It's probably not that bad!"
"It is that bad. Just listen to everything you told me. Imagine if I told you this about myself and someone. Or about anyone else. Imagine it with Sam or Finn or Tina. Yes, even Tina, because these things can happen to anyone." Even though it was admittedly difficult to imagine in case of their strong and self-assured Tina, yet Kurt knew it was never that simple. "Anyone can end up trapped in a relationship that is toxic... You know that. It's not your fault, it doesn't even have to mean that he is a bad person." Although he definitely was, in Kurt's not so humble opinion. "But together, the way you two are? That is not sustainable. That is not healthy."
He shrugged. "If you don't trust my judgement, talk to people with more experience. Your brother. Or Hartley. Anyone will tell you the same thing."
"I think if I told Ed, I'd have to bury a body in the woods somewhere. He tends to over-react to this sort of thing." Or react the appropriate amount, according to Edward. He didn't want his brother to hurt anyone but he took this sort of thing seriously. Before Blaine came along, he knew their father was an ass. Way more than he was now. There was a whole world before him that he couldn't comprehend.
"I know I have to leave him." He knew but he didn't want to. It was scary, complicated and he was worried Dallen would think it was all about Kurt. And maybe it was. Maybe he was just a bad boyfriend too. "I just want my job back. I hope Mr Schue will let me come back. I shouldn't have quit but he was so angry that I wasn't taking care of the house and I panicked. It's on me as much as him."
"Of course Mr Schue would have you back. That's what he said to me. He told me: 'Get our boy back, Kurt.', so here I am." Not because of Will, obviously, but it certainly helped to know that they were all on the same page. Hell, if he told anyone even half of what Blaine had just told him they'd not just be on the same page, they'd be writing the same book, ready to whack Dallen over the head with it.
"Never be with someone who makes you feel unsafe in your own home, Blaine. That's not... Just end it. Then you can stay at Sam's place. You don't have to be with me instead, unless you want to, but don't be with him. Or I'll tell Ed."
"You can't tell on me to my big brother. Not cool!"
Blaine had to laugh, despite how bad it all actually was. He just wished it was easier. He wanted Dallen to just dump him so he could move on, he wanted to run into Kurt's arms and stay with him, he wanted to reach out and touch his biceps cause they looked amazing. And he was about to go into the trenches and dump his boyfriend so fuck it, he did just that. He leaned right over and touched his arms. "You still do push ups? Is it easier or harder without me eating cronuts and commenting on you?"
"Easier to stay focused but harder to stay motivated," Kurt admitted honestly, while flexing his muscles a little for Blaine's benefit. And, admittedly, for the benefit of Blaine admiring him, reacting to it. He hadn't dressed up like this to not be as seductive as he possibly could be, after all. "I also do karate. Mostly because I still like sai swords an unreasonable amount."
Something he'd just love to introduce Dallen too, should the opportunity present itself. "I keep waiting for a project where I can use those on stage, yet somehow there's just not enough flamboyantly gay sword-fighters."
"Well, you're a writer these days, maybe you have to write it. I'd watch the hell out of it. Multiple times." Blaine assured him as he pulled his hand back, hating that he was blushing but his boyfriend was super pretty. "I've been shadow boxing a little cause it's boring being at home all day. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do but clean and cleaning is so boring."
He was hoping he could get himself a little bit more in shape because Dallen had mentioned him being a bit doughy. "I'm trying to make sure I keep my core. I don't always dance but I like the option."
"You look gorgeous as ever, if that's any consolation. And you move as graceful as ever. I continue to thwart a lot of flirtation attempts by comparing myself and them to you whenever there's talk about dance." If Adam calling him out on it hadn't helped, Kurt somehow doubted that anything would ever be able to help it. "You just need some more regular exercise, if you are doubting your core. I can think of a way or two for us to work out. Together. If you catch my drift."
And then his mind went places. Places he shouldn't go. God, what was Kurt doing to him? He knew that this really was it for him and Dallen. He was still in love with Kurt, he knew that, and it didn't mean he was about to run off and date Kurt but he couldn't stay with Dallen. After seeing Kurt, the issues with Dallen just seemed big and unstoppable. "I'm going to end it tonight. If I can. You'll know because I'll be able to text you. You still have the same number, right?"
"I still have the same number. Like you see in the group chat." That reminder of Blaine not having autonomy over his own phone, over who to text, it brought back the anger. He really ought to have brought his sai from New York, although that would have been awkward on a flight. Maybe he could get his hand on some here. "If you need any help ending it, I'm here for you. I'm sure Sam would be too, Finn, anyone. I don't want him hurting you."
"I'll be fine. Speaking of which, I need to go or I'll have to have a way worse conversation." Blaine admitted as he stood up and waited for Kurt to do the same so he could hug him goodbye. He loved touching Kurt, being close to him, smelling him. It made him feel young and excited, like love was something fun and not something he had to just do to prove he was a good person. He just wanted to stay in his arms but he knew he had to get home before Dallen's church ended.
"Maybe we could this again next week. I'd like to see you, if you have time..."
Kurt rested his head against Blaine's shoulder as he held him close, breathing in his scent. Still so familiar. Still so Blaine. He had to smile at that realisation, that Blaine was still Blaine. It was also what made him run one hand up his spine and come to rest at his nape, so he could draw circles there with his thumb, brushing against the fine hair at the base of his neck. It felt right, holding Blaine in his arms. "I'm free for you any time."
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Still, he knew that storming out of her was not the constructive thing to do. So he had to keep it together. "Please leave him. Not because I want you back, although I do. Not because I am jealous, although I am. But because he's hurting you. Please, Blaine."
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Of course he knew, he wasn't an idiot. He knew it wasn't okay, he knew he was scared of Dallen and he knew that he didn't like anything in his life right now. "It just kept getting worse. At first, it was just little things but now he keeps my phone when he goes to work and he checked it all the time. And I can't do my job or see my friends and I don't even know how it happened, Kurt." It was fine and yeah, there were so red flags but it was never like that. And yet, as he spoke, he felt such guilt and immediately, he had to backtrack. "Maybe I'm being melodramatic. I'm just ... I'm playing the victim. It's probably not that bad!"
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He shrugged. "If you don't trust my judgement, talk to people with more experience. Your brother. Or Hartley. Anyone will tell you the same thing."
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"I know I have to leave him." He knew but he didn't want to. It was scary, complicated and he was worried Dallen would think it was all about Kurt. And maybe it was. Maybe he was just a bad boyfriend too. "I just want my job back. I hope Mr Schue will let me come back. I shouldn't have quit but he was so angry that I wasn't taking care of the house and I panicked. It's on me as much as him."
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"Never be with someone who makes you feel unsafe in your own home, Blaine. That's not... Just end it. Then you can stay at Sam's place. You don't have to be with me instead, unless you want to, but don't be with him. Or I'll tell Ed."
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Blaine had to laugh, despite how bad it all actually was. He just wished it was easier. He wanted Dallen to just dump him so he could move on, he wanted to run into Kurt's arms and stay with him, he wanted to reach out and touch his biceps cause they looked amazing. And he was about to go into the trenches and dump his boyfriend so fuck it, he did just that. He leaned right over and touched his arms. "You still do push ups? Is it easier or harder without me eating cronuts and commenting on you?"
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Something he'd just love to introduce Dallen too, should the opportunity present itself. "I keep waiting for a project where I can use those on stage, yet somehow there's just not enough flamboyantly gay sword-fighters."
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He was hoping he could get himself a little bit more in shape because Dallen had mentioned him being a bit doughy. "I'm trying to make sure I keep my core. I don't always dance but I like the option."
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Dirty.
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And then his mind went places. Places he shouldn't go. God, what was Kurt doing to him? He knew that this really was it for him and Dallen. He was still in love with Kurt, he knew that, and it didn't mean he was about to run off and date Kurt but he couldn't stay with Dallen. After seeing Kurt, the issues with Dallen just seemed big and unstoppable. "I'm going to end it tonight. If I can. You'll know because I'll be able to text you. You still have the same number, right?"
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"Maybe we could this again next week. I'd like to see you, if you have time..."
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