"He should definitely meet Sam then, they'd have a lot in common." Blaine pointed out and yes, he was being pouty and weird but this was all a lot and he didn't know what to do with any of these feelings. "Kurt, I'm taken, okay? I don't want to date. I'm not stupid, you keep hinting and-- and no. Okay? No."
He didn't want to reject him like this but he was panicking because he wanted it. He wanted it so bad and he had to do whatever he could to make sure he could resist. "It took me so long to be happy again after the last time we broke up and I can't do it again."
He held his hands up apologetically. "We can learn to be friends but ... I can't."
"Okay." It hurt, it really hurt. Kurt tried to deal with it the way he tended to, not wanting to seem weak. Compartmentalising as he stopped by his car and breathed out.
He knew that Blaine wasn't really taken, but Harry was probably right. If he had hurt Blaine badly enough that he was faking a relationship just to keep distance, he might just not ever stand a chance again.
Shaking his head, he got into the car and closed the door, doing up his seatbelt. "We can learn to be friends. I'm watching comic book movies and everything. I liked when those two guys kissed in the comic book show. I don't know the character names, but the guys were hot."
"The Ray and Citizen Cold. Yeah, that was pretty cool." Blaine agreed as he got into the car and sat there for a moment, feeling sick and frankly, feeling awful. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to keep rejecting Kurt when it was all he wanted. He was just scared. "I do miss you a lot. Talking to you. Life has been weird without you."
Blaine thought about Kurt almost every day and that was weird, given how long it had been since they dated. It was just hard to cut Kurt out. He was on Broadway, he turned up on TV sometimes, Finn had pictures of Kurt in his house and all of his friends were Kurt's friends too.
"The last guy I tried to date made fun of my Flash boxers." Blaine admitted, giving Kurt a half-smile. "It's a big turn off to hate comics, not gonna lie."
"I never hated comics. They just never felt like they were meant for me. A lot of prominent breasts, for one thing." Kurt really thought that if Blaine wanted them to just be friends he had to stop looking at him with that adorable expression. Had to stop doing a lot of things because it was difficult to not just pull him in for a big kiss.
Instead he drove the car back to Blaine's workplace. "Don't make me picture you in Flash boxers, by the way. You want this to be platonic and you are devastating in red. You know you are. It's false advertising too. You're never that fast."
"Okay, I appreciate the compliment but I feel we are rewriting some of our history." Blaine did sometimes get overexcited and come too fast, he couldn't help but laugh at it sometimes. He had never been as horny as he was as a teenager. It was truly a fascinating time to be alive. "But fine, no boxers talk. We can stick to friend topics."
Whatever the hell those were.
"You know, I don't actually drink that much coffee now." Blaine informed Kurt as he sipped the one he currently had. Not drinking that much coffee from a guy who once had five a day was definitely a change. "Though it's dangerous, I just end up ordering hot chocolate instead." Not the best for his waistline.
"I usually have chai or matcha these days, but I'm not insane enough to order that here. They don't even have oat milk." It was a bit behind the times here compared to New York City. Slower. Maybe a better pace for Blaine. maybe a better pace for them both. "Though I don't see the danger in ordering hot chocolate. Everyone needs a treat sometimes and you most definitely deserve it. Hard-working teacher that you are."
"It's hard but it's fun. The kids are so cute and you see them get better and progress... of course, sometimes they just bite you and scream but you know, it's good to try and communicate in any way." Even if it was scratching and biting. He sipped his coffee and then turned to Kurt, smiling. "The kids in my glee club are 12 to 15 though, so they're older but they have communication problems or socialising issues because of their disorders and it's just a way to try and express things. So don't expect amazing singing."
It was more about the expression than the talent. "They love if I sing to them first but maybe today, you can sing."
"I'm not expecting anything, Blaine." He parked the car in the same spot he had before, turning his head to look at him. "I just want to see a glimpse of your world. See the work you do. It sounds fascinating. And I bet they still sing better than half of our Glee club did at the worst of times."
He was just saying. "I can sing if you want me to. I don't mean to steal your thunder though."
"It's not about thunder, it's about making experiences and meeting new people, socialising. Seeing what music can do." And Kurt's voice always did something to him. He smiled at Kurt and nodded before he opened the door and got out. He led Kurt up the steps and into the building. Through the hallways, there were pictures of Blaine and other workers with the kids, as well as a few glee club pictures and some fun musical performances.
He pushed the door open to the performance room. It was white with a rainbow floor and a couple of benches. Blaine set his coffee down on the piano and looked at Kurt. "What do you think?"
"It's very you. So I love it." Because he loved Blaine and it was awful to be standing here and not hold Blaine's hand. He remembered that he could not very well simply do that though, so he looked around and took it all in, able to imagine Blaine making some decisions about how this space should look. "Do you do performances? Not competitive, I just mean, anything like a concert or whatever?"
He wondered. "Or is that too much for the kids? Sorry, I know I'm an ignoramus."
"We do a performances but not with all the kids, more the higher functioning ones that want to do it. We actually have an event coming up." Blaine jogged over to his flyers and came back, tentatively holding it out to Kurt. "There's a few, if you want to pass them out or whatever. A few of my kids, this is their favourite part of the week. For others, they just want to be here and feel the vibes, man. Just really dig on the sweet tunes."
Blaine said with a playfulness about it. "We don't get much funding for glee club. Or any, actually. It's free for the kids and when it's free, it's out of pocket. Other stuff is subsidised cause it's charity. You can go private but..." But Blaine didn't mind, he wanted to do it. It was like a passion project to him and he wanted to help any way he could. "It's just a chill sensory-friendly performance."
"That sounds amazing. I'd love to post about it, if you let me. I have quite a few followers but it's not as if that many of them are in Ohio." Maybe some of them that would be willing to donate to a good cause though. Kurt made sure to put the flyers away securely, smiling at Blaine who was being utterly adorable, so very much himself and very, very hard to resist.
"I'll have to pick the right song to sing. Nothing too overwhelming. Maybe I should go with a classic. Beatles or whatever."
"Anything to help raise awareness. Donates are our life blood. My kids, they want to do costumes and dancing, some of them want to go see other glee clubs cause they know I used to be in one but getting a bus for that is impossible." Blaine really wanted them to get out into the world, do some field trips and see some musicals but he needed more colleague support and transport. "I have one boy in the club, he's amazing. He's autistic and when I met him, he only said three things - hello, thank you, bye. Now, he sings full sentences!"
It was incredible and amazing to watch. Blaine smiled at Kurt and then sat himself down at the piano. "Oh, they love classics. We did yellow submarine last year."
What was Blaine doing to him? All of that and now he was sitting by a piano, passionately talking about the work he did with kids out of the goodness of his heart. It was really starting to get to him. It wasn't just turning him on, that would be easy to deal with and to ignore. No, this was going deeper. This just remined him of how much his soul called out for Blaine's, as dramatic and exaggerated as that sounded.
In the end he just placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder for a few seconds, his voice quiet. "Dave is a lucky, lucky man."
He cleared his throat and moved his hand again. "I'll post. I have rich people that follow me. I'll get the kids the support they deserve."
"He is?" Oh. Shit. "Oh yeah, he is." God, he was bad at this lie. He kept forgetting Dave was his fake boyfriend. Fortunately, he heard the parents and kids coming in and finally, he had a reason to not make an ass of himself. "I have to go greet people, feel free to chill and -- brace yourself."
They were loud. The kids were loud but Blaine was used to it. He talked to the parents while the kids sat together, some hanging out, some just moving around the space and once everyone was settled and the parents were gone, Blaine clapped his hands gently.
"Heeeey! I'm so happy to see everyone. Today, we have a new friend. New. Friend." Blaine repeated it and then did the whole thing again in sign language. He was still learning but it was getting there. "Our new friend - Kurt. Kurt is a singer."
He gestured at Kurt, smiling at him and God, his heart was beating so fast in his chest. "Kurt is my friend." He brought his hands to his chest. "And he's amazing."
"I'm not as amazing as Blaine," Kurt assured them, trying to speak slowly. He was nervous for so many reasons, hoping he'd not end up doing the wrong thing here. "The song I'm going to sing is a classic. It's from the Beatles."
He waited to make sure he could get started, doing his best to not simply stare at Blaine. Even though he was here, performing Blackbird and thinking of when he had performed it in front of Blaine for the first time.
He wanted to win him back. He wanted to do whatever it took.
So he sang his heart out and hoped it would all be good.
Blaine played the piano for him, proud of himself for managing to play and keep up without completely fumbling. The song woke something up inside of him and he was close to tears as he played, trying to shove all of that down. Some of the kids were dancing, some banged instruments but most were as mesmerised as Blaine.
Once the song was finished, some clapped and Blaine stood up, readjusting himself and clapping his hands.
"Amazing, thank you, Kurt! Kurt is a singer on Broadway. Musicals." He looked at Kurt with awe, unable to believe this was really happening. Wait, it was happening, right? This wasn't some weird fever dream. He pinched himself as subtly as he could before clearing his throat. "I know that Milo wanted to sing today from a musical. Do you want to come up and show Kurt?"
It took some coaxing and gentle encouragement but Blaine managed to get through the hour with lots of singing, some dance practises and a lot of kids trying to talk Kurt's head off.
By the time the hour was done, Blaine turned to Kurt and literally beamed at him.
Oh, there he is. He was looking for him for forever.
"You really undersold how talented those kids are," Kurt said to Blaine with a smile, trying to pretend that his heart wasn't beating up to his throat. He didn't know if he was about to be turned down again, if he was about to get yet another rejection or if maybe, just maybe, he could believe that there was still some hope for them. "Thank you for letting me be part of it."
He held out his hand, hoping that Blaine would take it for at least a moment. "I want to be part of your life. In whatever way I may."
Blaine looked around and then looked at Kurt, finally taking his hand and holding it tight. "I made up that Dave was my boyfriend. I panicked when I saw you and I didn't think you were here for long and it's been so long so I thought I should try to be cool and over you." And that was clearly going great. Blaine smiled nervously and squeezed Kurt's hand before he pulled away.
"That's doesn't mean -- I'm not sure if I... I have to think still." Blaine told Kurt as he gave Kurt a sad, longing look because he wanted to kiss him, to run away with him and buy a nice house somewhere but he knew he had to be smart. "Can you give me some time?"
"I'd wait until the end of the world for you, Blaine," Kurt said very seriously, incredibly relieved that he no longer had to even pretend to be jealous of Dave Karofsky. That had taken quite the toll on him. More importantly, Blaine had finally given him an inch. Just an inch. He took that as the go ahead that he had to keep pursuing him. Not that he could have stopped himself at this point.
Kurt took one step closer, so he could lower his voice and speak closer to Blaine's ear. "You've never looked better. For the record."
"Really?" He wasn't even wearing a bowtie today, he couldn't be that hot. He smiled at Kurt, blushing lightly as he reached out and playfully shoved Kurt away from him. "Stop it, you're making me blush. Come on, not cool." He rolled his eyes and walked away from Kurt so he could start cleaning up the room.
"Tell you what, you can drive me home like a gentleman and I'll -- I'll think." He just had to talk himself down from all the bad feelings and find a way to express them to Kurt, judgement free.
"Just let me know when you're ready to listen to my apology. I'm not here to pressure you." He was here to win him back. Whatever it took, as he'd promised. "I almost believed you and Dave as a couple, by the way. Only I'm a bit too veteran a social media sleuth to be fooled for long. You looked cute together though."
He teased, very gently, trying his best to help with the clean up by setting the chairs aside the way they had been before.
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He didn't want to reject him like this but he was panicking because he wanted it. He wanted it so bad and he had to do whatever he could to make sure he could resist. "It took me so long to be happy again after the last time we broke up and I can't do it again."
He held his hands up apologetically. "We can learn to be friends but ... I can't."
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He knew that Blaine wasn't really taken, but Harry was probably right. If he had hurt Blaine badly enough that he was faking a relationship just to keep distance, he might just not ever stand a chance again.
Shaking his head, he got into the car and closed the door, doing up his seatbelt. "We can learn to be friends. I'm watching comic book movies and everything. I liked when those two guys kissed in the comic book show. I don't know the character names, but the guys were hot."
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Blaine thought about Kurt almost every day and that was weird, given how long it had been since they dated. It was just hard to cut Kurt out. He was on Broadway, he turned up on TV sometimes, Finn had pictures of Kurt in his house and all of his friends were Kurt's friends too.
"The last guy I tried to date made fun of my Flash boxers." Blaine admitted, giving Kurt a half-smile. "It's a big turn off to hate comics, not gonna lie."
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Instead he drove the car back to Blaine's workplace. "Don't make me picture you in Flash boxers, by the way. You want this to be platonic and you are devastating in red. You know you are. It's false advertising too. You're never that fast."
Now they were dirty talking. Progress.
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Whatever the hell those were.
"You know, I don't actually drink that much coffee now." Blaine informed Kurt as he sipped the one he currently had. Not drinking that much coffee from a guy who once had five a day was definitely a change. "Though it's dangerous, I just end up ordering hot chocolate instead." Not the best for his waistline.
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It was more about the expression than the talent. "They love if I sing to them first but maybe today, you can sing."
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He was just saying. "I can sing if you want me to. I don't mean to steal your thunder though."
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He pushed the door open to the performance room. It was white with a rainbow floor and a couple of benches. Blaine set his coffee down on the piano and looked at Kurt. "What do you think?"
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He wondered. "Or is that too much for the kids? Sorry, I know I'm an ignoramus."
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Blaine said with a playfulness about it. "We don't get much funding for glee club. Or any, actually. It's free for the kids and when it's free, it's out of pocket. Other stuff is subsidised cause it's charity. You can go private but..." But Blaine didn't mind, he wanted to do it. It was like a passion project to him and he wanted to help any way he could. "It's just a chill sensory-friendly performance."
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"I'll have to pick the right song to sing. Nothing too overwhelming. Maybe I should go with a classic. Beatles or whatever."
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It was incredible and amazing to watch. Blaine smiled at Kurt and then sat himself down at the piano. "Oh, they love classics. We did yellow submarine last year."
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In the end he just placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder for a few seconds, his voice quiet. "Dave is a lucky, lucky man."
He cleared his throat and moved his hand again. "I'll post. I have rich people that follow me. I'll get the kids the support they deserve."
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They were loud. The kids were loud but Blaine was used to it. He talked to the parents while the kids sat together, some hanging out, some just moving around the space and once everyone was settled and the parents were gone, Blaine clapped his hands gently.
"Heeeey! I'm so happy to see everyone. Today, we have a new friend. New. Friend." Blaine repeated it and then did the whole thing again in sign language. He was still learning but it was getting there. "Our new friend - Kurt. Kurt is a singer."
He gestured at Kurt, smiling at him and God, his heart was beating so fast in his chest. "Kurt is my friend." He brought his hands to his chest. "And he's amazing."
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He waited to make sure he could get started, doing his best to not simply stare at Blaine. Even though he was here, performing Blackbird and thinking of when he had performed it in front of Blaine for the first time.
He wanted to win him back. He wanted to do whatever it took.
So he sang his heart out and hoped it would all be good.
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Once the song was finished, some clapped and Blaine stood up, readjusting himself and clapping his hands.
"Amazing, thank you, Kurt! Kurt is a singer on Broadway. Musicals." He looked at Kurt with awe, unable to believe this was really happening. Wait, it was happening, right? This wasn't some weird fever dream. He pinched himself as subtly as he could before clearing his throat. "I know that Milo wanted to sing today from a musical. Do you want to come up and show Kurt?"
It took some coaxing and gentle encouragement but Blaine managed to get through the hour with lots of singing, some dance practises and a lot of kids trying to talk Kurt's head off.
By the time the hour was done, Blaine turned to Kurt and literally beamed at him.
Oh, there he is. He was looking for him for forever.
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He held out his hand, hoping that Blaine would take it for at least a moment. "I want to be part of your life. In whatever way I may."
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"That's doesn't mean -- I'm not sure if I... I have to think still." Blaine told Kurt as he gave Kurt a sad, longing look because he wanted to kiss him, to run away with him and buy a nice house somewhere but he knew he had to be smart. "Can you give me some time?"
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Kurt took one step closer, so he could lower his voice and speak closer to Blaine's ear. "You've never looked better. For the record."
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"Tell you what, you can drive me home like a gentleman and I'll -- I'll think." He just had to talk himself down from all the bad feelings and find a way to express them to Kurt, judgement free.
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He teased, very gently, trying his best to help with the clean up by setting the chairs aside the way they had been before.